MSN Messenger: Most common method of "CyberBullying"?

In a recent report by the charity BeatBullying, MSN Messenger (recently renamed "Windows Live Messenger") was revealed as the most common conduit for "Cyber Bullies" on the internet.  MSN Messenger is a type of software classified as "Instant Messaging" software whereby, as the name suggests, short messages can be exchanged instantly between users. 

MSN Messenger is a very common piece of software, as it comes pre-installed on all new Windows computers and is therefore instantly available for use.  In addition, it can also be found on some games consoles (such as Microsoft's Xbox 360) and modern mobile phones.


Clearly, the potential for abuse in this type of software is huge, and as parents become more aware of the risks of their children falling victim to bullies whilst online, attention must and should turn towards the methods by which it is most likely to occur.  Whilst social networks like Facebook, MySpace and Bebo are also likely conduits, they are (in the most part) not designed for "instant" communication, and often leave a permanent and public record.  Instant Messenger conversations, by comparison, are private and largely transient - once the conversation has ended, there is little proof that it ever took place.

For these reasons, parents who find out that their children use MSN Messenger might rightly be concerned about the type of conversations that are taking place, in private.  Whilst the software has an option to record conversations for posterity in the form of "logs", this option is easily disabled and the log files easily deleted, so that any conversation your child takes part in is easily lost.

The obvious question that arises is:

How do I ensure that my child is simply chatting to their friends, and not being bullied, on MSN Messenger?

One way to make sure is to install monitoring software like Spysure Home Version on your child's computer.  Spysure will record all MSN Messenger conversations, and is completely independent of MSN's logging options, so it doesn't matter if they're switched on or off, or the log files deleted. 


A final word of caution:
Some discretion is advised whilst monitoring young people's communications.  Over-reacting to simple, playful behaviour by "telling off" or disciplining the child can lessen the effect if-and-when you have to react to a serious, potentially dangerous situation.  Remember that making mistakes is part of the learning process and your children should be allowed to make mistakes - use your parental judgement to determine whether those mistakes place them in danger and whether it is appropriate to intervene.

But, if you're not monitoring their activity, how will you ever know whether there is a problem which you need to deal with?